Nollie 5-0

Originally published on April 19th, 2019

This particular post is specifically inspired by this piece, entitled Privileged by Kyle Korver, a white male NBA player. I feel like the second half of my life has been, in part, an exercise in recognizing the handicaps that a given individual’s general demographic scheme imposes.

And from that, I draw a more generalized inspiration.

I might have been six, or seven, by my best guess. I know I was a year or two into elementary school. At the end of our block lived a family who gifted us (my family) a small table top football game.

I was so excited to play with this game. Perhaps I have that part of the story all wrong, from where it came from. It matters not. What does matter is that I remember being confused as to why there were more than two teams on the field.

See, some of the figurines (action figures? dolls?) had dark skin painted on, some had light colored skin.

I had, and still have, very light skin. I don’t even tan well; I go from pale to crispy red in a PNW minute. I grew up in a large community that was, for the most part, a melting pot of European descent — western European, specifically.

Me, at that young age, had a “well, duh” kind of moment when I realized that there were indeed only two teams on my new-to-me football game.

Later, maybe ten years later, I have another specific memory kind of like this.

Skateboarding at Creston Park. The black-top and buttery curbs were perfect for mid-90’s style of skateboarding, and my friends and I spent many, many hours perfecting our craft in the shadow of the elementary school. It was a spot that attracted skaters from all over Portland.

This specific memory involves me yelling, “I’m such a girl!” after not being able to finish a nollie to 5–0 on the large set of stairs. I think I locked in, and then bailed before completing the maneuver. Sitting in the corner, maybe thirty or so feet away was a young lady. She must have been a friend of one of the other skateboarders there. I didn’t know her or recognize her. But after yelling that, we made eye contact.

One of the few pics from Creston

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even give me a dirty look. Maybe she didn’t even register the fact I had used “girl” as a descriptor for my perceived lack of discipline and toughness, pertaining to my bailing on my nollie 5–0. I think she did though.

Kerry Getz was renowned for losing his shit. Hockey temper, they said.

I took that stuff seriously for a few years, though. Thankfully I wasn’t known for meltdowns, like some others were. Maybe she gave me a look for throwing a mini-tantrum for stepping off of my skateboard. I’ll never know. I’ll always remember that afternoon, though.

Not me doing a much larger Nollie 5–0 down a hubba

I made a mental note that using the term “girl” to self-describe my shortcomings in my skateboard skills was not appropriate. And, honestly, I’m thankful in that it felt wrong upon re-examination. Perhaps some people are born with the inherent elegance and thoughtfulness that begets true respect of others. I was not. I suspect very few of us are. A few lessons taken to heart goes a long way in shaping our outlook and perspective.

Ultimately, it is our choice. Each of us choose what lessons will guide us.

I think to the times I was pulled over as a young man. I’ve never had a DUI. I have had, however, interfaces with law enforcement that in hindsight often leads to a higher level of consequence for other people. At that time, it was not something that I recognized.

In the residency program I am one of two people who would consider themselves “white.” I am the only white dude. We are a varied group. Being a doctor, in general, has provided impactful insight into the lives of people of so many backgrounds. So many different people. California engenders varied reactions throughout the nation, but one thing is crystal clear: people flock to California for an abundance of reasons, but economic opportunity with high paying jobs is the number one driving factor.

California, the state, one of fifty states in fact, is the fifth largest economy in the entire world behind the US (of which it’s production is the largest component of, obviously,) China, Japan and Germany. All this to say that California attracts driven, capable people. It may be my favorite thing about California, actually.

In my mind, the primary socioeconomic issue of our day, in our nation, is one that allows for reasonable opportunity for any individual, so inclined, to better themselves. This is in terms of education, and/or vocational training.

How about this — I wish to live in a place that values education for the sake of knowledge acquisition in-and-of-itself. I am happy to say that this can still be achieved, for the most part. Community colleges are abundant and offer a wide variety of courses.

I am willing to admit that it is foolish to gain a bachelor’s degree in, say, screen-printing, and think that this will automatically deliver a well paying career. On the flip side, if someone, say — like me, wants to go to college, earn a bachelor’s degree in science and aim to matriculate through a medical college, it would be nice to not have such a burden of debt, such as I do.

I still believe in a robust social safety net for those who fall on hard times. Truly, I say unto thee that the resources given to those suffering is more righteous and worthwhile than the fossil fuel subsidies, estate tax exemptions and yacht owner deductions ever will be.

All that is an aside, because, as I stated above “in my mind” is the key. I have come to understand that there are overt and dog-whistler racists in the world. I have learned that, in general, I don’t have to worry about an “unfair shake” from an interaction with the police (this is only true now that I’m not a skater kid any more.) This is important to remember.

To love is to see yourself in another.

A quote by Eckhart Tolle.

When we treat others as we wish to be treated, then we can see ourselves in others. See how this works?

By far the largest and most stubborn driving force for opportunity stratification in this country is economic. It is expensive to be in poverty; the powers that be make sure of that. However, the point of this inspired post is that it is more than that, and that is what I have had to learn. And, the “more” is a burden in which I’ve carried a disproportionately lesser share.

Fighting for justice seems like an absurd thing.

I’ve always been drawn to the absurd.

It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succor of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till.

— Gandalf